After 3 days in the Caribbean, I am relieved to report that I survived Bachelorette Bonanza 2014. Most of my memories from the trip are hazy, but the bits I do remember are full of debauchery. I am permanently scarred.
Of course, there were a lot more photos taken than the ones I have inserted into this post, but these were non-incriminating.
I’m actually quite surprised that I did not fall overboard; or that I wasn’t carted off by a propositioning Bahamian; or that I didn’t get lost in the back streets of Nassau (although I did wander around in a parking lot for about 10 minutes, looking for the beach); or that I didn’t drown in the saltwater pool after drinking too many mojitos (one).
There were butter/food fights with a neighboring bachelor party at dinner. Lots of dirty jokes sullied my innocent mind at the comedy club. The bride lost her ID at a seaside bar. She also hijacked someone’s jet ski, and the police showed up…
On the other hand, I had a great time getting to know my future sisters-in-law (the bride and her two siblings). Highlights of the trip included snorkeling in crystal waters, reading by the pool, fresh conch fritters, rum cake, the most adorable multicultural wait staff, and salmon Eggs Benedict. It was also nice to be disconnected from the rest of the world for a while. I didn’t answer any e-mails or partake in social media, except the 12 minutes I spent messaging DP, which cost me $9!!
Recovery has been slow. At the grocery store last night, I was going through the self-checkout station and couldn’t remember the names of vegetables. There I was, trying to type in “aubergine” instead of “eggplant,” staring blankly at the monitor when my search produced no results…
I have just one tip for anyone partaking in Caribbean cruise fun. Unless you are hellbent on spending even more money, avoid purchasing the excursion packets they offer on shore. You don’t have to take a jitney anywhere or spend the day in a nice resort (although it probably is a lot safer than wandering around on your own). Chances are, you can find a beach on foot and get into all sorts of
trouble fun on your very own.
Yes, I wore shorts under my dress. You laugh, but everyone else flashed the upper deck.