Change (or How I Spent the Last Month of 2014)

Watch the changing southern skies
as night closes in, as endless waves wash by –
sand-shifting waves that focus my mind
on impermanence.

– BWC

Change is often scary.  And yet when the ball drops on New Year’s Eve, we are hopeful, filled with the promise of 365 more pristine days that will bring with them countless changes.  If only we could approach every day with as much gusto as the majority of us do on December 31st.  Unfortunately, the tendency to label impermanence as negative or positive, instead of embracing it as reality, makes it difficult to let go.  We cling to the Known, to what makes us comfortable, to desperately wanting outcomes we cannot control.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the last month of 2014 forced me to make a major decision that will likely set my life on a different course.  For some time, I have been standing at the precipice of a paradigm shift.  I don’t say this to be dramatic, for even small choices have the potential to create great change.  I can’t quantify the magnitude, but I can already feel the universe shifting just a little.  Things have been set in motion.

As 2014 was winding down, I was saying goodbye to a job that I loved – my first “real” job, in fact, where I cared about the work I did and at least some of the people whom I saw more than my significant other – in order to push the limits of my potential.  It was not an easy decision, though most everyone told me it was a “no-brainer.”

I have experienced incredible things in the past three years that make it difficult to move on.  I will miss being alone in the wilderness of a beautiful landscape; face-offs with alligators and wild hogs; finding a few extra minutes to search for shark teeth across the river; photographing mosquitoes under a microscope; soaring over the marsh in a nimble yellow bird...

In the end, I knew it was unlikely that I would grow professionally or personally if I didn’t leave.  Opportunities don’t exactly fall into your lap every day, begging for your immediate attention.  So I went with my gut, made a difficult decision in just 3 days.  And then I spent Christmas with our puppy and family, exploring new places, opening my heart, and loving each day as we are meant to do.

On the first morning of the new year, I woke up to a breathtaking view.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy 2015!

xoxo,

Noony

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